Pants Past

One ‘I used to look sexy in this shirt’ and seven pairs of pants ranging from size 6 to size ‘OMG I can’t believe I am fatter than that’ is what I photographed yesterday afternoon.  Boring stuff!  The photographs were blech.  The Reiki was uneventful, so it seemed.

What could I possibly write about?  One question remained unanswered.  Why had I held on for so very long to pants of various sizes that didn’t fit?  I obviously live in a world of possibility, and it is certainly possible that I could lose weight and wear them once again. It is also possible that pigs will fly!

Then I realized why I kept the pants wasn’t as important as the effect keeping them had on me.

“Just for today, do not anger” is one of the Reiki precepts that I try to incorporate into my daily life.  My pants violated this precept. My pants made me angry. Angry that I was not what I used to be, angry that I was getting old, angry that I can’t muster the discipline to eat less, angry at my irradiated thyroid and angry at my herniated vertebrae.

Boy oh boy, I really had no idea that my pants of the past caused me to anger.  I thought that they were an incentive, a positive to goal towards!

I see now that living in past pants stops me from enjoying today’s happy dance.

Jakikiri Joka Ho

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